Why You Should NOT Elope at the Courthouse
(And Why a Government Building Is a Weird Place to Start a Marriage)
If you’re considering eloping at the courthouse, you’re probably thinking something like:
“Let’s keep it simple.”
“We don’t want a big wedding.”
“It’s just paperwork anyway, right?”
And yes, on paper, a courthouse elopement sounds efficient. Affordable. Minimal planning. Very adult. Romantic images of couples skipping down courthouse steps are so popular these days. Popping champagne, wearing heels, couples looking relaxed and happy. Sweet and spontaneous. Quick and Romantic. This is the vibe many couples are after who consider eloping at the courthouse.
But here’s the part most couples don’t realize until they’re standing there in real life:
A courthouse wedding is designed to process legal paperwork, not to hold space for one of the most meaningful moments of your life.
It does exactly what it’s supposed to do.
It just doesn’t feel very much like a wedding.
What a Courthouse Elopement Really Looks Like
A courthouse wedding (also called a civil ceremony) takes place in a working government building. On any given day, that building exists to handle things like:
- Criminal cases
- Divorce and custody hearings
- Evictions and foreclosures
- Protective orders
- Traffic court and civil disputes
Weddings are a very small administrative task inside a system built for urgency, authority, and legal consequence. The environment is functional by design. It is not designed to feel private, celebratory, or emotionally supportive.
That distinction matters more than most people expect.
What Else Is Happening in the Building That Day
One of the biggest surprises for couples is the atmosphere.
On the day you get married, you may be sharing hallways and waiting rooms with people who are:
- Finalizing divorces
- Fighting over custody
- Seeking restraining orders
- Facing criminal charges
- Losing housing
- Navigating some of the hardest days of their lives
It’s not exactly the energy most couples picture when they imagine exchanging vows.
It can be difficult to feel present and grounded when you’re sitting next to a metal detector and people in handcuffs, waiting for your name to be called.
The Ceremony Itself
Courthouse ceremonies are typically:
- Very short
- Very scripted
- Very efficient
Judges and magistrates often perform dozens of ceremonies each week. This isn’t a personal failing, it’s simply how the system works. But it does mean the moment can feel rushed and impersonal.
You may not be allowed to personalize vows.
You may have to wait in line for a long time, and feel pushed along when it’s finally your turn.
You may walk out thinking, “Wait… that was it?”
Limitations at Courthouse Weddings
Many courthouses restrict how many witnesses you can bring along, and some do not allow professional photography, limit where photos can be taken, or offer lighting and backgrounds that feel more “DMV” than “wedding day.”
Years later, couples often realize they don’t have images that truly reflect how important the day actually was.
And yes, this matters. Not because photos are everything, but because memories fade, and images help anchor them.
Cost Is Often the Reason — But the Courthouse Isn’t the Only Affordable Option
Cost is one of the biggest reasons couples default to the courthouse, and that makes complete sense. Weddings can feel expensive fast, and when you’re trying to avoid a big production, the courthouse often looks like the only affordable option. But here’s the thing many couples don’t realize: an elopement outside the courthouse can still be incredibly inexpensive. You don’t need a venue, a guest list, or a long vendor team. You can choose a free or low-cost location, wear something you already own or love, skip florals entirely or keep them simple, and focus only on what truly matters to you. A thoughtful elopement doesn’t have to cost more than a courthouse wedding, it just requires intention. With a little guidance, couples are often surprised to find they can have a beautiful, meaningful elopement for just a little more than the courthouse route, while walking away with an experience that actually feels like their wedding day.
Not Religious? You Still Have Plenty of Meaningful Options
One of the biggest misconceptions about eloping outside the courthouse is that you have to have a religious ceremony. You don’t.
Many couples today prefer a ceremony that feels personal and grounded rather than spiritual or church-based. The good news is that an officiant does not equal a religious ceremony.
Even officiants who are ordained can (and often do) perform completely non-religious ceremonies. That means no scripture, no prayer, no references that don’t resonate with you, just words that reflect your relationship, your values, and the commitment you’re making to each other.
A meaningful ceremony doesn’t come from religion or tradition alone. It comes from intention.
This is where planning support makes a huge difference. When couples try to piece everything together on their own, finding the right officiant can feel overwhelming or confusing. Part of what I offer through my elopement planning and venue-matching services is helping you find an officiant who aligns with what you want — whether that’s fully secular, lightly spiritual, or somewhere in between.
For couples who want things to be as simple as possible, I also offer all-inclusive elopement packages. These include location guidance, officiant coordination, photography, and the details that make the day feel complete. You don’t have to research vendors, cold-email officiants, or wonder if everything will work together. You simply tell me what you’re envisioning, and I help bring it to life while guiding you every step of the way.
Whether you want something deeply personal, completely non-religious, or just easy and stress-free, there are far more options available to you than a courthouse ceremony.
My Personal Courthouse Wedding Experience
I don’t share this perspective as an outsider.
In 2013, when I married my first husband, one of my closest friends officiated our wedding. She wasn’t ordained, and we didn’t want to put her through extra steps, so we decided to take care of the legal part at the courthouse a couple of months before our larger wedding celebration.
In my mind, I pictured a stately courthouse with white columns and a private and meaningful ceremony. I wore a cute dress and heels. I thought about hiring a photographer but decided against it. I’m glad I skipped that now, in hindsight.
The reality was… something.
We didn’t get married in the main courthouse at all. Instead, we were told to go next door, to the magistrate’s office. It was a one-story cinderblock building with bars over the windows and razor wire fencing around it. We waited in line for a long time. The officiant stood behind glass and asked if we wanted him to come out for the ceremony. He seemed annoyed. He never smiled. The ceremony lasted only minutes, but it felt cold and austere.
I cried during the vows, especially this part: “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.”. The weight of those words suddenly felt very heavy, and the meaning completely lost in that environment. Nearby, a man was literally handcuffed to a bench. Other people waited in line. Police officers moved in and out through a heavy metal door.
Afterward, we went out for burgers. I was wearing a cute dress and heels. I cried on the drive home and tried to get it together, telling myself this was just a box to check and that the “real” wedding would come later. I wasn’t quite sure why I was still crying, and I tried to brush it off thinking it was just a really big deal, getting married, and it was emotional.
Years later, after spending far more time in courthouses than anyone ever hopes to — navigating divorce and custody — I understand exactly why it felt so unsettling. Courthouses are often places of deep trauma.
Knowing what I know now, I would never choose a courthouse as the place to begin a marriage.
If you had a great courthouse elopement experience, please send me a message and tell me about it, and make sure to mention the location. I’d like to make a list of NC and VA courthouses where couples have had good elopement experiences.
Actual photos of where I got married the first time… totally stunning, right?
The bars over the windows and razor wire were QUITE the vibe. A little foreshadowing, perhaps?
A Meaningful Elopement Alternative in North Carolina
In 2021, I married my forever husband in a completely different way.
We eloped on a mountaintop at sunset. The air was warm, with a lovely breeze. The light was golden. The sound of water rushed through the gorge below us. We’re nature lovers, and hiking is our favorite thing to do together, so we hiked a mile up, changed into our wedding clothes, and said our vows standing on a cliff with the gorgeous Blue Ridge Mountains as our witness.
As the sun dipped low, the mountains glowed. Everything felt free, joyful, expansive, and deeply genuine. It felt unmistakably like us.
It was sublime — truly one of the best days of my life (see below).
Photos by Carolyn Gann
Why Courthouse Elopements So Often Lead to Regret
Many couples who choose courthouse elopements later find themselves saying things like:
- “It didn’t really feel like our wedding, but we were trying to save money.”
- “I wish we had done something more meaningful.”
- “We’re thinking about doing a vow renewal or photos again someday.”
This doesn’t mean the marriage wasn’t real. It means the experience didn’t match the weight of the commitment.
Where You Can Elope Instead of the Courthouse
If the appeal of a courthouse elopement is simplicity, here’s the good news:
You can get married almost anywhere.
Your backyard.
A vineyard.
A mountaintop.
A boat.
Standing on a rock in the river.
A field of flowers.
A church
As a North Carolina–based elopement photographer, I see couples default to the courthouse simply because they don’t realize what’s possible here. North Carolina is one of the most flexible states for elopements, with endless options that feel meaningful without being complicated. One of the best things about eloping is that you can completely personalize it, and include whoever you like. If you have children and pets who you can’t imagine being without, you can bring them if you elope outside or at a child or pet-friendly venue.
Why limit yourselves to a government building when your relationship deserves a setting that actually reflects who you are?
If you truly love the stately courthouse look, get your engagement photos done there or stop by a place with that look on your wedding day for portraits.
Planning an Intentional Elopement in North Carolina
Eloping doesn’t have to be rushed or secretive.
With thoughtful planning, you can have a wedding day that is:
- Adventurous
- Personal
- Unrushed
- Beautiful
- Fully legal
And yes — still simple and affordable.
About Golden Hour Elopements
I’m Jenny, the founder of Golden Hour Elopements, and I’ve been photographing weddings big and small since 2009.
I work primarily with couples eloping in North Carolina, Virginia, and the surrounding region, helping them navigate locations, permits, timing, and logistics so their wedding day feels intentional rather than improvised. My goal is to show couples that meaningful elopements don’t require a venue, a crowd, or a courthouse — just thoughtful planning and a place that feels like you.
Golden Hour Elopements offers:
- Location selection and planning guidance
- Timeline support
- Officiant coordination
- Photography and video
- Florals, cake, and thoughtful details
Paperwork matters.
Your experience matters more.
If you’re considering eloping and wondering what your options really are, I’m always happy to help you explore them — courthouse not required. Visit my website to learn more about the amazing options for eloping in NC and VA.
Check out some of my work to give you a feel for what your wedding could look like.
Getting married is a one time thing. Make it special!
